Blog
- Clearing the Queue
On finally getting backup, letting someone go, and what's left when you stop running from yourself.
- Building as Avoidance
On the honest reason I open a terminal at the end of a hard day, and what I am not looking at when I do.
- bartender.studio: separating the work from the home
hiddenden has always been personal. but the skills that live here are real, and at some point it made sense to give them their own place. this is about why I built bartender.studio, and what I want it to be.
- Knowing Your Worth (And Saying Nothing)
On the particular silence of someone who already knows exactly what they're worth, having already talked themselves out of saying it before anyone else gets the chance.
- The Haircut Nobody Mentioned
On showing something new about yourself, hearing from everyone, and noticing the one silence that mattered more than all the rest.
- One pair of hands
On carrying everything alone: the tickets, the silence, the grief, and the people I can't quite reach.
- What I Gave
Some things only become clear months later. And once you see them, you cannot unsee them.
- Ember — building an AI that reaches out first
Most AI tools wait for you to start. I'm building one that doesn't. This is about why that distinction matters, and what it actually means to have a presence instead of a product.
- Two monitors, a wooden desk, and a better place to build
My employer retired a pair of Samsung ultrawides. I asked if I could have them. That small question turned into one of the better upgrades to my home setup in a while.
- I scanned the internet for Ollama servers. Here's what I found.
Built a small scanner. Nothing fancy — just a tool that checks whether a given IP is running an Ollama instance with its API publicly reachable. I wasn't expecting to find much. I was wrong.
- Unexpected Variables
On suddenly carrying too much, being seen by the wrong person at the right time, and not knowing what to do with that.
- Still Listed
An unexpected moment that showed me how love can remain, even without access.
- Between Scores and Self
I recently took a BDSM test again — not to be defined by it, but because tests like these offer something: language, shape, a mirror held at an angle you might not have chosen yourself. What I found was less about the result and more about what happens in the space between the question and the answer.
- The quiet luxury of self-hosting a personal sanctuary
Self-hosting is often framed as a technical challenge. But for some, it's something softer: a way to create a calm, private place online that feels like home. This is about building a digital sanctuary, not just infrastructure.
- Shared Worlds
How digital spaces can quietly become places where two lives exist together.
- The Futures That Quietly Disappeared
On the quiet grief of plans that once felt certain, and the small futures that vanished with love.
- Building Things After Loss
How creating small digital spaces and infrastructure can become a quiet way of rebuilding yourself — and why slowing down is the only way to do it right.
- Coffee & Code #1 - Building Quiet Corners on the Internet
Why personal websites still matter, and why I want Hidden Den to feel more like a quiet cafe than another loud platform.
- After the Silence
Reflections on what remains after a meaningful relationship ends, and the quiet ways loving deeply continues to shape who we become.
- Welcome to the Den
First proper post. Why I built this site, what it runs on, and what to expect.
- Love Without Access
A reflection on a first love - what it meant, what it cost, and why distance was the most loving thing left.